The good people at regretfulmorning.com , put together what i call the guide to getting laid… I wanted to share it with you….
Valentine’s day is just few weeks away and that makes a lot of us uncomfortable. If you’ve just started dating a girl, you can’t go too hardcore or it will scare her away. However, If you’ve been stabbing the same axe wound for a few years, going too cheap will also make you look douchy.
We decided to look at the most important part of Valentine’s Day. The Sex, and whether or not you’re going to be having any this year.
Now if you end up on the side of the chart where things are not going your way… here is a sure fire way to get laid on valentines day !!!
While cruising the net i found this interesting discussion, to answer the questions… Ever made it with twins?
Identical twins in real life are tricky, twins for hire are rare and hard to find.
I have been with two sets of identical twins. The first encounter was when I was just getting out of high school. There were these two hot Asian girls. I was working them both at the same time, didn’t last long but was fun while it lasted… a few weeks of cross over. Getting them together as not a option but there was a competition issue they had and still have to this day. I still stay in contact with one of them and they currently don’t talk.
My more recent experience was two years ago. I went to Tahoe with a girl I was seeing and her identical twin sister. I had the thoughts running through my mind as we were planning the trip. I would play a bit with my girl’s twin on the phone, talking a little smack here and there and made sure my girl told her sister I was giving it to her real good and having her try things she hadn’t tried before. Toy play, anal and a bit of porn education. They initially started out saying it would be disgusting to share and even worse with their sister.
When we got to the cabin we were unpacking and started partying a bit and ended up in the hot tub. Being twins they both do things at the same time, braces at 11, nose job at 16 and tits at 30. So they didn’t have any problem loosing the bikinis. It seems most girls after getting their tits done seem to be proud and enjoy showing them off a bit.
I started testing the boundaries but was worried about pushing a bit too far so wanted to be careful. I had expressed to my girl that just about every guy on the planet would like to have a three way with identical twins, including every guy either one of them has ever dated. I said they probably didn’t have the balls to say it to their faces. Besides its just like two of her so whats not to love about it??
With identical twins, they can look very much alike but there are still subtle differences in their appearance and obviously the personalities. My girl was always more fit then her sister and was always was the more confident of the two. I expressed to her I had no interest in her sister other then getting a little freaky and having some fun. I understand the three way scenario usually can stir up some insecurities when there is a couple inviting the 3rd party in. Very common for someone to have some anxiety that they will be out preformed. I managed to get my girl to relax and let me explore the situation cause she had faith I wouldn’t pursue her sister.
In the hot tub I started a little grab ass and comparing their tits. I had some serious wood as I had them side by side rubbing each girls chest with each hand. I was interested in seeing how similar their pussy’s were and that’s when her sister freaked a bit and bailed out of the hot tub. One step to far! Now being alone in the hot tub I knocked one out with my girl and she was happy to take advantage of my excitement. It’s fun to fool around in the hot tub but takes me awhile longer to get there. After we finished, we went back in the house.
Everything was cool when we went in and we all got ready for dinner. We went out and had a nice dinner and went to a club and danced. There was always a lot of attention cruising with a set of good looking twins with nice racks. We went back home and crashed.
In the morning we woke and my girl was getting up to start breakfast. Her sister was in the other room still sleeping and I asked if I should go wake her up. I was stiff with my morning wood and wanted to see what was what. I felt comfortable with my girls blessing to give it a try and in I went.
Her sister was still in bed but awake. We started talking and I started rubbing her back asking if she slept ok. She said said she slept ok but her back was a little soar. I took the opportunity to rub her back. I started out around her neck, worked her shoulders and then made my way down her back. I was taking my time and could tell she was digging it. I worked my way down to where her low back meets her ass and started putting my hand in her panties. When I slid my hand in and started rubbing her ass she was arching her back up to meet my hand. I worked her panties down a bit and concentrated on continuing to rub her.I had her ass fully exposed and her panties at mid thigh. After a little bit I made a upward brushing motion past her pussy and up her ass and she realized I could tell she was soaking wet, dripping….she immediately rolled over and covered herself up. She got a little freaked out she went too far and was worried her sister was going to hate her. I told her we had already talked about it but she was locked in on she wouldn’t want her sister to fuck her boyfriend so she didn’t feel comfortable going further.
I respected her possition and didn’t push further. I could tell she did much more then she ever would have considered. We continued the trip and had a good time. I had fun telling my girl about what happened and she was aroused by my encounter with her sister. We talked it up a bit during our next few sessions.
It wasn’t a bang fest but was still a fun experience.
In a world of supersize cars, jobs, meals, and just about everything else, it’s hard to stop thinking about whether bigger is actually better for everything. Men are competitive when it comes to their ability to satisfy women, and unfortunately after years of locker-room comparisons, the go-to source of pride or shame is the size of that with which they’re working. So, does penis size really matter? Well, yes, but you’ll be shocked to find out for whom it really matters.
Striving to be the best is par for the course; while your date-night antics don’t necessarily qualify as a sport, and you won’t be in the running for an Olympic medal this year, peak performance is always on your mind, especially when it comes to sex. As we all know, it takes more than height to make a great basketball player, and more than biceps to make a standout football star. The same can be said for savvy lovers who have better sex — physical equipment isn’t everything when it comes to knocking it out of the park, and women aren’t shy about singing the praise of skill over size.
Unfortunately, not all guys seem to believe those women so we’re going to rely on science to reassure you that the size of the package isn’t more important than the method of delivery.
It’s all in your head
OK, it’s time for some scientific facts and figures to put to rest some of the outlandish claims and myths circulating about whether or not penis size matters and what’s normal for the vast majority of men out there. A comprehensive worldwide study of more than 40 independent penis size research projects, undertaken since 1942, has come up with a general penis size guideline. With over 11,000 participants, the survey puts the average erect size of the adult penis between 5.5 inches and 6.2 inches in length and 4.7 inches and 5.1 inches in girth.
If the science doesn’t do it for you, and you’re still wondering “does penis size matter,” then the study also took a look at perceptions of size and asked more than 50,000 heterosexual men and women how they rated their own size or the size of their partner. They found that 85% of women were satisfied with their partner’s penile size, but only 55% of men were satisfied. Notice anything? The women were much more forgiving and didn’t feel like they were dealing with inferior goods if they weren’t being bludgeoned with porn-star worthy penises. Chances are that women within measuring distance usually have better things on their minds than finding a ruler, and if they don’t, penis size probably shouldn’t be your first concern.
What she’s thinking
Do you think you could accurately identify what 5.0 inches looks like within ¼ inch? Yeah, we didn’t think so. And guess what, most women couldn’t do it either. The variances in the middle ranges of penis sizes only offer up about ¾ of an inch from the low-end to the high-end of the scale, including racial variances that have seeped into popular culture, but remain largely unsubstantiated in the scientific community. So, unless you are the proud owner of a significantly smaller (under 4.0 inches erect) or significantly larger (over 7.5 inches), your partner’s ability to identify your exact size and judge you on it are pretty slim.
As a hobbyist I find myself and others needing to be concerned with using protection, with so many things that a person could catch from another person, it’s better to be safe then sorry later. Many of my stories I hear from friends in the hobby, where they do bareback with no rubber, and then notice a wart on their ding dong, well yeah!
Can you catch herpes from oral with no protection, the answer to that is, yes you can if you have a sore or irritation from masturbating to much and the provider has a cut in her mouth that she my not beware of.
If you read the definition from Wikipedia, they state that In the modern age, condoms are most often made from latex, but some are made from other materials such as polyurethane, polyisoprene, or lamb intestine. A female condom is also available, most often made of polyurethane. As a method of birth control, male condoms have the advantage of being inexpensive, easy to use, having few side effects, and of offering protection against sexually transmitted diseases. With proper knowledge and application technique—and use at every act of intercourse—women whose partners use male condoms experience a 2% per-year pregnancy rate.
Condoms have been used for at least 400 years. Since the nineteenth century, they have been one of the most popular methods of contraception in the world. While widely accepted in modern times, condoms have generated some controversy, primarily over what role they should play in sex education classes. Additionally, improper disposal of condoms contributes to litter problems, and the Roman Catholic Church generally opposes condom use.
Source: Mpreviews.com ( For the finest adult escort & massage reviews)
Earlier this week, on the Howard Stern show, Ashley Dupre stopped by to promote her advice column in the NY Post and discuss some of the ins and outs of her career as a high-price escort. Ashley Rae Maika DiPietro (born Ashley Youmans; April 30, 1985) better known by the stage name Ashley Alexandra Dupré, or as Kristen, the name she used as a call girl, is best known as the woman at the center of the Eliot Spitzer prostitution scandal. Well she is now a singer, and writer and doing some other things to improve her life. Thumbs up to you Ashley… We sure will miss being able to purchase an hour of interaction with that high priced ass of yours….
Likely one of the most know dj personalities out there…. His crew are the best… Ned ,25,manson,spice, brent and the others make it a great listening experience. They can be heard in Tampa and several other markets, and national on sirius…. these guys are great. Spice and Bubba even share naked pix of there ladies for us to all enjoy… and there ladies are smoking… take a gander… and dont for get to check out THE BUBBA THE LOVE SPONGE SHOW
Here is Bubba the love sponges wife Heather.
A 63-year-old woman was charged with prostitution after being arrested last week at a northwest suburban massage parlor.
Buffalo Grove police received an anonymous tip that “something was going on” at a massage parlor at 1105 Weiland Rd., according to Cmdr. Steve Husak. A business called the GQ spa is listed at that address, according to an online directory.
Sixty-three year old Myeong Hi Lim has been charged with prostitution.
An investigator was sent to the massage parlor on Jan. 13, and Myeong Hi Lim, 63, who worked there, was arrested and charged with prostitution, a Class A misdemeanor, Husak said.
Lim, of Arlington Heights, was scheduled for a hearing at courthouse in Waukegan on Feb. 2, he said.
The massage parlor is known to law enforcement. A similar arrest was made there in 2006, Husak said. In that incident a 51-year-old woman was arrested on a prostitution charge.
Ok when you see an ass? What is your first thought? Would you like to see yourself engaged in a sexual situation with it? I mean, some guys see the thinest ass around, and they are like that is a great ass,and then other guys see a large ass and they want to shove there faces into it… what do you like ?? Whats your taste in ass??
Internet marketers look to new ways of making money these days. And people that are tired of the dating scene with its games , headaches and expenses have found a new fun and easy way to enjoy life.
Researchers have found that sites like :
Are the reason why there are so many happy people, in this down economy.
I mean, let’s take a moment and wrestle with the reality that most of us will spend most of our lives away from family and friends, day after day, conscripted into cubicles among a bunch of strangers. It’s really a miracle everyone hasn’t protested this inhumanity by getting routinely day-drunk and humping en masse in the conference room.
Think this is a weird sentiment? Let me flesh it out.
I’m not saying we should all be cheating on our spouses at work. Look, if you want to be married, be married. What I’m talking about is for us singles, out there spending a huge chunk of our fertile years cooped up in crazy cages, being slowly sterilized by the office microwave.
How do I know about office sex? I’ve had it. And it was incredible. I’ll tell you why.
I Have Paperclip Marks on My Butt
I started a job out in California. My very first day, while at a meeting with my new “team,” a woman at the front of the room and I shared a brief, wonderful smile. At first, we were merely co-workers. Then a friendship began to blossom. Fifteen months later, she was inching out of her skirt, mounting her desk, doing a dramatic arm-sweep of a coffee mug filled with pens, and brought me into the rarefied realm of Office Sex. It. Was. Awesome.
Haven’t you ever found yourself, over the course of time, undeniably drawn to a co-worker if for no other reason than the proximity, the shared burdens, the common enemy of a boss? This can lead to office sex! Now, haven’t you ever been attracted to a co-worker, and then, over time, found yourself deeply smitten with him because you got to see him five days a week and liked the person he was? Anybody can be charming with a gin gimlet in his hand, but to find someone appealing with toner ink on his pants and complaining about Microsoft Excel? Office sex calls!
Why It Beats a Starbucks Run
At the office, we reveal a side of ourselves that our parents and our friends don’t get to see. We are Work Us, where we create these complex relationships with co-workers forged in shared resentment and excessive downtime.
You know why I think office sex is so explosive? You’re sort of forced to treat everyone courteously, and there are rules in place, and the real truth about rules is not that they were meant to be broken, per se, but they make you more creative. They birth all sorts of interesting ways to rebel, all the while maintaining a guise of professionalism. When getting essentially “paid” to play “Tetris” is such a thrill, just imagine getting paid to flirt and grope on company time. The touch of a hand, the protectiveness (covering for them in front of the boss, etc.) — it’s a glorious game!
Caveat Humptor
Look — don’t forget that the reason you have a job in the first place is health insurance, not endless orgasms (although one certainly makes the other easier). So don’t get caught. The copy room, conference room and supply closet are all wonderful places … to get fired. Stick to the desk inside the private office (yours, hers, his, whatever), the after-office-hours (watch out for security cameras!), the secret bathroom in the basement that nobody knows about with the locking door, etc.
It’s also important to pick your partner wisely. An obvious rule: Do not sleep with your boss. Just don’t. And don’t sleep with a subordinate, because you will get sued and take the company down with you. Sleep with somebody sane, a little slutty and on a similar career level — ethical quandaries and emotional issues are unnecessary additions to the already-inherent riskiness.
Finally, and this might sound counter intuitive, but don’t have office sex with someone you merely find attractive. It’s actually — like in real life — better if you like seeing them. You know that wave of nausea that hits you when you bump into a One-Timer on the street? Multiply that by, like, a thousand if you have office sex with someone you wouldn’t normally see again.
Now go, singles! Have office sex! Watch out for paper cuts. And the herp.
[Redacted] is the resident Single Guy writer for Lemondrop.
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January 31st, 2010 
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